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18 Pieces Of Star Wars Merchandise That Will Make You Whisper “WTF”

In 2015 alone, Star Wars merchandise grossed over $19.4 billion dollars. In fact, some snooty commentators have described Star Wars as less of a movie franchise and more of a toy franchise.

Whatever, Nerf Herders. But there’s no denying that the Star Wars franchise can levitate the cash right out of our wallets, and with that kind of consumer power, everyone is out to make a buck on one of the bigger brands in the galaxy. And with that comes a lot of weird stuff. Like, a lot of weird stuff.

I fell through a Death Star-shaped rabbit hole to find some of the most outlandish Star Wars merch for sale.

Star Wars Chopsticks

As far as this list goes, the chopsticks aren’t so weird. But you’d probably catch a few strange looks if you unsheathed these bad boys at your local sushi joint. They light up, too! As any discerning Star Wars geek knows, you can’t just pick up any old lightsaber. It has to be imbued with your force-sensitive energy — which is why Amazon offers these chopsticks in different colors to match your vibe.

“I Will Not Be Your Father” Condoms

I can’t speak on whether or not this will enhance your lightsaber. But the review section is a must-read.

Jabba The Hut Spice

There’s always been a little rivalry between Duneheads and Star Wars acolytes when it comes to just how much George Lucas was inspired by Frank Herbert. Who knows? Maybe the Kessel Run was adjacent to Arrakis.

At any rate, this is a first-class passive aggressive gift for the Dune fan in your life — or just a really weird gift for anyone who has no idea what in the hell you’re talking about.

Star Wars Taxidermy Mice

What to get the Star Wars fan who has everything? Probably not these creepy-weird taxidermied mice. I have so many questions, but I don’t think I want the answers.

Star Wars Light Up Nipple Pasties

These LED light-up nipple pasties are marketed as a versatile accessory. For the discerning dark side apprentice, they can be worn on top of clothes or on a bag. They come in an array of colors, although turning them off isn’t quite the user-friendly experience one would expect. According to the shop, to turn off your flashing nipple pasties, you’ll need to twist your nips.

Tea-Wok Tea Bag Holder

If you enjoy tea and Star Wars, you might be one of the large population of British people who identify as Jedis. In 2001, over 300,000 people wrote “Jedi” as their religion on a national census, causing one man, Daniel Jones, to start an official Church of Jediism. He even claimed religious persecution when he was kicked out of a local supermarket for refusing to take off his hood.

The supermarket responded in an official statement which read, “Jedis are very welcome to shop in our stores, although we would ask them to remove their hoods. Obi-Wan Kenobi, Yoda, and Luke Skywalker all appeared hoodless without ever going over to the Dark Side, and we are only aware of the Emperor as one who never removed his hood.”

If you buy this tea bag holder, I hope you remember that story every time you use it.

Willy Warmer

Laugh if you will, but the “knitted protector” was often worn by Scandinavian men to protect their lightsabers from frostbite during arctic winters. On the Faroe Islands, they were also called kallvøttur, which translates to “man mitten.”

A Norwegian and Danish tradition involved a girl giving her suitor a “man mitten” to test his commitment to their relationship. If her boyfriend rejected the kallvøttur, it was decided that he wasn’t ready for marriage, and the relationship was over. So if you’re looking for a romantic gift for your bloke, try this Star Wars-inspired willy warmer.

Wookie Slippers

If you’re a bit of a Wookie in the mornings, these slippers are the perfect way to let everyone know that you should be left alone until you’ve had your coffee. They’re also a helpful distraction from overtly hairy legs.

Wampa Rug

What could be more romantic than relaxing by the fire, reclining on your Wampa rug, and drinking a glass of Pinot Noir? Add this handsome rug to your abode for a touch of Hoth-chic.

Slave Leia Perfume

Do you want to smell like you’re chained to a giant, obese slug? I mean, if you do, you can buy this from Amazon. From the box description:

“Chains cannot restrain your smoldering sensuality, even when the most despicable scum in the galaxy surround you. Whether you’re on a daring rescue mission or are being held captive by a nefarious slug/gangster, your regal bearing lets the world know that despite appearances, you’re no one’s servant. Fearless and inventive, Slave Leia Perfume includes floral top notes of white peach, lily, bergamot, heliotrope, and raspberry that dry down to a warm sultry mix of cashmere woods, musk, and night-blooming jasmine. Slave Leia Perfume: More powerful than a thermal detonator, yet more comfortable than a metal bikini!”

 

Star Wars Tiki Mugs

This limited-edition tiki set from ThinkGeek comes complete with six tiki glasses, featuring Wicket, a Jawa, C3PO, a Tusken Raider, a Tauntaun, and a Wampa. It’s 0.01% weird and 99.99% want.

Fallen AT-AT Lawn Ornament

When your overly-peppy neighbor asks you how you’re doing, you can just point solemnly at your AT-AT laying face-planted in your lawn and silently walk away.

Droid Bouquet

Because nothing says “I’m sorry” like a bouquet of nine R2 units.

“Hold on,” you might be thinking. “Why would my lady want nine R2-D2 units?” Flowers die, but a droid is forever. This droid bouquet comes with three of each R2 units, including R2-D2 (obvi), R2-Q5, and R2-D9.

Han Solo Yoga Pants

Cosplay can be every day with these Han Solo yoga pants. Nama-stay sharp, kid.

Yoda Themed Mankini

Unconventional speech patterns aren’t the only thing Yoda and Borat have in common, thanks to this “one of a kind” mankini available on Etsy.

Yoda mankini

Via Etsy

 

Lando Disguise

Hurry, this very effective Lando disguise won’t be on Ebay for long.

Sexy Wookie Sticker Set

Like big mutts and you cannot lie? Fly that freak flag high with these not-at-all questionable sexy Wookie stickers.

Space Slug Jack In The Box

If you don’t like clowns, but still want to scare the bejesus out of your kids, hand this over and yell “THIS IS NO CAVE!” when the Exogorth pops out of this jack-in-the-box.

Happy #StarWarsDay, everyone!

The Internet Can’t Decide If This Hoverbike Belongs In Star Wars Or Final Destination

It might not jam a comlink or come with a blaster cannon, but you can still live out your fantasies of cruising through the forest on a 74-Z speeder bike thanks to Russian start-up, Hoversurf.

Star Wars fans collectively experienced spasms of joy when a video featuring the first commercially manned hoverbike hit YouTube in mid-February. Since then, the video has garnered over a million views. The Scorpion-3 hoverbike is equipped with four drone propellers, powerful enough to blast both quadcopter and pilot to an altitude of 33 feet.

via GIPHY

This isn’t the first hoverbike to survive a maiden voyage with a human pilot. British hobbyist, Colin Furze, is still the first man to take to the skies on a hoverbike, which is even more remarkable considering he built said bike in his garage. A joy to behold, it was also a one-off and not geared towards the mass market.

Enter Hoversurf with the Scorpion-3, the first hoverbike available for sale — although it’ll set you back a staggering $150,000.

This jumbo-sized quadcopter is built for the adrenaline junkie, although thrill seekers may be disappointed to discover that the in-built safety system automatically regulates the height and speed of your ride.

Half-drone, half-motorbike, the Scorpion-3 can carry up to 266 pounds and reach speeds of 33 mph. With a maximum airtime of 27 minutes, it’s not going to take you on a cross-country tour, but it’s one hell of a way to make an entrance.

Not everybody is ready to throw their regular bike into the trash compactor just yet. “So this is what a human juicer looks like,” mused one user on Twitter, presumably after noticing the lack of propeller guards separating the human passenger from the rather deadly-looking propellers.

via GIPHY

Both The Verge and Mashable were having none of it.

“World’s first hoverbike looks cool as hell, but will probably kill you” announced the Verge. Mashable was more succinct: “Whatever you do, don’t fall off.”

Although Hoversurf may need to integrate more safety features before everyone is a convert, the Scorpion-3 is just one of many exciting new hovercraft prototypes that have cropped up recently.

JTARV

As the US military is wont to do, they’re already light-years ahead when it comes to hoverbike technology. The Army Research Laboratory unveiled a flying quadcopter in early January, known as a joint tactical aerial resupply vehicle, or JTARV for short.

The JTARV is longer, sleeker, and admittedly more of an aerial BAMF than any other hovercraft on the market. But Star Wars wasn’t so much the inspiration for the JTARV as…Amazon Prime?

Tim Vong, associate chief of ARL’s Protection Division likened the JTARV to “Amazon on the battlefield.”

“Anywhere on the battlefield, Soldiers can potentially get resupplied in less than 30 minutes,” he said.

The JTARV prototype is currently electric, but researchers are already exploring utilizing a hybrid propulsion system which would spearhead a faster and more powerful hoverbike, capable of carrying 800 pounds and travelling up to 125 miles.

“We’re also looking to integrate advanced intelligent navigation and mission planning. We’re looking to end up with a modular, stable platform that can be used for even more dynamic and challenging missions.” Vong told visitors from the Department of Defense.

EHang 184

So when can we expect to see a fleet of drones travelling across the skies? If you live in Dubai, it could be as soon as July.

The EHang 184 will be the world’s first autonomous air vehicle (AAV) used as an air taxi. Come July, Dubai expects to have its first fleet of AAV taxis taking flight across the city, and alleviating some of the city’s traffic woes in the process.

Much like calling for an Uber, you’ll use an app to request this egg-shaped quadcopter, which can accommodate one passenger and a small suitcase weighing up to 220 pounds. After you’ve strapped yourself in, you’ll simply enter your destination on a touch screen display and the EHang will self-pilot through the skies to your destination. It can stay in the air for 30 minutes and has a range of 31 miles.

If the concept of a self-driving car makes you wince, you’re unlikely to feel comforted by the idea of combining self-driving technology with heights. But EHang assures potential passengers that the aircraft is totally safe. According to their website, if the power system starts behaving abnormally, the EHang can still operate a normal flight plan. If anything malfunctions, the AAV will automatically land in the nearest available area.

BMW Lego Bike

Hoversurf put the first pilot on a hoverbike, but BMW and Lego are hot on their heels with their own hoverbike, that looks much safer than the Scorpion-3. Designed by students using Lego,

The concept impressed BMW enough to build a full-sized replica. Sadly, it’s still a concept, although from the video below, it looks like the slickest model of the lot.

When you look at emerging hoverbike technology, do you see:

  1. Your other Star Wars fantasy coming true
  2. A grim, painful way to die
  3. All of the above

Let us know in the comments! And if you liked this post, be sure to check out the time a water ski company and YouTube celebrity recreated the speeder-bike scene on a lake.

Header Image Courtesy of Hoversurf

Jetovator and Devin Super Tramp recreate Star Wars speeder-bikes scene for real

Star wars Speeder bikes
Jetovator,  a company that manufactures water-jet-skies, along with YouTube celeb Devin Super Tramp re-created the speeder-bike chase scene from the Star Wars: Return of the Jedi in real-life. The skies were heavily modified to give them appearance of the bikes featured in the movie.  The crew also tweaked some dirt-bike helmets for the pilots. Instead of jungle, the scene was shot over a water body. The team added special effects.   Everything worked perfectly. You should definitely watch the results in the following video: Read More…

Official Star Wars drones (crafts) can fly and shoot laser cannons for real

star wars drone

Next generation of toys is apparently revolutionized by advent of drone technologies.  The dreams of children obsessed with Star Wars icons have come true. Toy drone maker Propel has joined Lucasfilm for manufacturing of official quadcopter versions of Starfighters and other crafts like Tie Fighter, X-Wing Starfighters, Speeder Bike etc.  Along with serving the purpose of being memorabilia, these drones are meant to recreate Star Wars dog fights indoor.  These Starfighters can fly, hover, and shoot green and red colored lasers. Included sensors can detect hits taken by a craft and switch to crash mode. It sounds awesome, right? Read More…

Star Wars themed Android phones make debut in Japan

Star wars phone

Star Wars galaxy has come a long way since it was first introduced to us mortals. Back then in the galaxy far, far away there were no phones, but cometh the Rogue One: A Star Wars Story they could be a sight. Sharp is stepping up to please the Star Wars fraternity with two “Dark Side” and “Light Side” smartphones for Japanese Telecom giant SoftBank. Read More…

These sleeping bags let you wear your favorite Star Wars hero

Star wars sleeping bags from Selk'bag

Star Wars is inseparably from a few of us who want to embark on the journey to planet Hoth. It’s going to be a tough survival in subzero temperatures but thank goodness Selk’bag has these wearable sleeping bags made to keep us comfy, just literally!  Priced at $109, these warm and comfortable sleeping bags that you can wear for an outing when the mercury dips, are available in four of our favorite heroes. Read More…

Star Wars BB-8 Talking Fridge Toy: Japanese surprise us again with a crazy gadget

BB-8 talking fridge gadget

BB-8 is one of the most popular character from Star Wars which inspired DIY’ers to come-up with unique things. This cute little rolling robot is undeniable when it comes to creating homemade toys, robots or even souvenirs. To be frank, BB-8 droid rules the DIY world and for good reason too. This time around we have a Star Wars BB-8 talking fridge gadget which is something very different from what we have seen so far. The little BB-8 has loaded sensors which detect refrigerator’s door opening and set the BB-8 alive with voice chat assisted by more than 20 pre-loaded audio files.
Read More…

Trials of Tatooine – Star Wars VR experience with HTC Vive headset

Star Wars VR Trials of Tatooine

Lucasfilm’s R&D wing ILMxLab is working on a room-scale Star Wars experiment set in virtual reality and they released a video showing how amazing it is. Using HTC Vive VR headset, the wearer is transported to Luke Skywalker’s home planet after the defeat of the Galactic Empire. Dubbed as ‘Trials on Tatooine’, this VR experience was revealed to a group of journalists at the Game Developers Conference in San Francisco. This is a unique way to experience Star Wars as you fit into the shoes of an unnamed Padawan holding a Lightsaber.
Read More…

This is not a scene from Star Wars, it’s actually a homemade Imperial Shuttle drone

Homemade Imperial Shuttle drone

Star Wars fans have already seen the flying R2-D2, Millennium Falcon and X-Wing which fly like a drone in the sky. Now, this is the real deal. A flying Imperial Shuttle (a.k.a Lambda class or Shuttle Tydirium) Drone with retractable wings which is as convincing as the one shown in the movie. DIYer and aviation expert Adam Woodworth has made a flying Imperial Shuttle that takes flight in the most unusual, yet fascinating manner. The secret of this gravity defying flight is a technique which uses printed paper and foam.
Read More…